Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
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