I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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