he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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