I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
