Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
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