i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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