I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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