just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize