Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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