I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
