Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize