Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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