i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Randomize
