i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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