there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
