ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I just want to make out with him forever
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
