ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
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