The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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