those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
