suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
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Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
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Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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