his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Randomize
