Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
