Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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