Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
In other news, I just burned my penis
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
