I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I forgot how hot balto sounded
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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