Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
More tranny stories later!
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
