I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
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