I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
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