I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
