I swear she didn't look like that last week.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
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