Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
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