The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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