That's intense
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
