There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
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Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
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He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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