Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
