Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
