You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Bring me that man meat
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
