I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
