i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
