Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
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