the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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