if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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