He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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