I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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