dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
