Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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