You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Randomize
