I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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