They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Randomize
