i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
