I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
her vagine was all disorganized.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize