She's JV to your varsity
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
