a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
