He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
