is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
