One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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